BeFrienders

"The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not caring, not healing, and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is the friend who cares." 

 - Henri Nouwen, Out of Solitude

What is BeFriender Ministry?

BeFriender Ministry is an ecumenical program which expands the pastoral care of churches and agencies. It develops and equips leadership teams to train lay people to respond to the emotional and spiritual needs of individuals by bringing a caring presence and a living reminder of God's love. Established in 1981, the Befriender Minsitry is esteemed as a national leader in equipping and forming laity and clergy as partners in ministry. Rooted in Judeo-Christian beliefs and values, this minsitry of pastoral care emphasizes listening mutality and ministry reflection.

Are you or is someone you know in need of a BeFriender? Would you like to talk to a BeFriender just to get some more information? Call us at the parish office (763) 479-0535 and we will put you in touch with our BeFriender Ministry Coordinator. All information is strictly confidential.

Mission

BeFriender Ministry educates, forms, and supports women and men as leaders for a listening minsitry of care. Based on a model of mutuality, this national and ecumenical ministry heals hearts, energizes communities, and transforms a suffering world.

Values

Bearing witness to God’s love for all.

Responding to the spiritual and emotional needs of people.

Integrating spiritual formation, theological reflection and skill building for competent pastoral care.

Being a ministry that is rooted in the Christian community.

Interacting with and learning from people of all faith traditions.

Ministering in partnership between lay and ordained people.

Embracing mutual accountability among national, regional, local, paid and volunteer Befriender staff and Befrienders.

Networking with individuals, congregations, health care, and other faith-based organizations whose missions and values are compatible with Befriender Ministry.

Role

The role of the BeFriender is to be a companion on the journey through their listening, presence and compassion. BeFriender ministers bring with them the caring presence of God and the community. 

BeFrienders participate in ongoing, bi-weekly ministry reflection with the supervision of BeFriender staff, coordinators and the BeFriender team. Ministry reflection provides accountability and growth which assists BeFrienders in their ability to listen and be non-judgemental, to put aside their own prejudices or desire to give advice. Brief portions of some visits are used during ministry reflection - fictitious names are used and unnecessary identifying details are eliminated from discussion. Confidentially is maintained.

Frequently Asked Questions 

If my family member has a BeFriender visiting, does that mean I am not meeting their needs? 

No, not at all. A BeFriender cannot take the place of family or friends in someone's life. For many, a BeFriender is simply an incremental supportive visitor, outside the family. 

How often will a BeFriender visit? 

The frequency of visits is determined together by the individual and the BeFriender, based on  needs and schedules. A visit usually takes place every week or two and lasts about an hour. 

What if I cannot think of anything to say? 

The BeFriender does not come to you to gain information. Rather, they will listen and respond, trying to support you at this time in your life, without giving advice or making judgements. 

BeFriender Ministry is not so much a "doing," but rather "being," a ministry of presence, of quiet listening, confidential and secure.

In Action - Real Life 

We all experience the feeling of loss or transition at one time or another... 

Fred and Hazel are a couple in their 90's who belong to our church, they have no children and live in a retiremenent home. One of their few connections with our church is the BeFriender minister who visits them regularly. 

Sue and Tom and their family are new members of our church and are new in the community as well. They are exploring how they fit in this new church, what groups will they be part of? Who will help them feel at home? BeFriender ministers visit with some new members, hear about their lives and about the joys and difficulties of being 'new.' 

Ann, a recent widow, is grateful for her BeFriender who listens and offers support as she sorts through this period of grief in her life...